Through our almost 6 years of marriage we've gone back and forth about how many kids we wanted. Daniel always wanted 6, I always wanted 4, and no more than 4. Then we had Connor, and it was hard. Pregnancy was hard. Raising a child is hard. I convinced Daniel that 4 is the right number. Then I got pregnant with Allie. Pregnancy is hard. We decided that we only wanted 2 and that this could be our last one. We felt guilty about that, because we do believe in bringing souls to this earth and giving them a good home. But we also believe that God understands our limits.
Then we were given some wonderful words of wisdom from our sister in law, Stacee. "It has to be okay right now to say that you're done. That doesn't mean that you're done for sure. But for right now, it's okay to be done." I love that so much. We don't have to do anything permanent to officially be done having kids, but when the going gets tough, it has to be okay, in that moment, to say we're done having kids, if that's what it takes to get us through that moment.
Honestly, to me, this family of four seems so perfect. I feel like Allie was our missing piece, and now I don't feel like anything is missing. And I think that's okay. We might decide for real that this is it. Or we might decide that we want to keep adding to our family. Right now, it really doesn't matter. I just need to enjoy what we have.
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